ASCENT JEWISH JOKES ARCHIVE -- 5776


August 1, 2016

A Nice Cup of Coffee (from the Jewish Press)

 

March 21, 2016

Jewish Haiku ("Jewku") - part 2, 5776

(Part 1 5766)

Jews on safari --
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.

Wherever you go,
there you are. Your luggage
is another story.

Drink tea and nourish life;
with the first sip, joy;
with the second sip, satisfaction;
with the third sip, peace;
with the fourth, a Danish.

Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness.

Quietly murmured
at Yom Kippur services,
"Yanks 5, Red Sox 3."

Beyond Valium,
peace is knowing one's child
is an internist.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is forty.

The shivah visit:
so sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.

Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.

Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health,
or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?



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