#503 (s5767-42 / 25 Tamuz 5767)

A Tip to Help My Granddaughter

The Divrei Chaim of Sanz apologized, but told his son that he would not give him any money for the wedding.

A Tip to Help My Granddaughter

Rabbi Baruch Halberstam, the Rav of Golitz, approached his father Rabbi Chaim of Sanz for financial assistance; his first child would soon be married but he could not afford to provide for her. The Sanzer Rav apologized, telling his son that he could not give him any money.

Surprised, Rabbi Baruch asked, "Father, how is it that you have money for helping every poor bride that seeks your aid, but you are unable to give any to your own granddaughter?"

Rabbi Chaim smiled and explained, "My son, there is a very great difference! The unfortunate people who come to me for assistance have no other way to obtain the money they need to provide for their weddings. You, however, can travel to my chasidim, who will be only too glad to help a son of mine. Since you are able to obtain the funds, if I give you money I will be taking it away from others who have no other means."

The Gorlitzer Rav accepted the wisdom of his father's words and undertook that he would travel to the various towns and villages where his father's chassidim lived to solicit their contributions for his daughter's wedding. Before leaving, he came to his father for a parting blessing.

Rabbi Chaim told him, "Since this is the first time you are seeking donations, I would like to give you some advice. You have probably decided that this name on your list will give you 100 zlotys and that one will give you 200. I want you to know that this is the wrong way to go about soliciting! People are often not going to give what you expect them to, and this could cause you to harbor ill feelings towards them, Heaven forfend.

"You must remember that the Al-mighty ordained exactly how much money you will collect. The donor who you think will give 100 zlotys may give 50, and the one you imagined would give 50 may actually give 100! It makes no difference in the total; it will still be the amount which Heaven has decreed you will get.

"Thus my advice to you is to approach each person with an open mind. Do not assume anything, and accept gratefully whatever you are given. This way you will collect funds and still retain your love for every Jew."

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[Adapted by Yerachmiel Tilles from "Gut Voch" by Avroham Barash (Mesorah Publ).]

Biographic Note:
Rabbi Chaim Halberstam of Sanz [1793 - 10 Nissan 1876] was the first Rebbe of the Sanz-Klausenberg dynasty. He is famous for his extraordinary dedication to the mitzvah of tzedaka and also as a renowned Torah scholar. His voluminous and wide-ranging writings were all published under the title Divrei Chaim.

Yrachmiel Tilles is co-founder and associate director of Ascent-of-Safed, and editor of Ascent Quarterly and the AscentOfSafed.com and KabbalaOnline.org websites. He has hundreds of published stories to his credit.